So, does everyone remember that moment in the Pixar flick Ratatouille, when the little old French woman sees the two rats in her kitchen and starts blasting at them with a shotgun? She shoots a ring around her chandelier, which falls to the ground and reveals the entire huge colony of rats that had been living in her attic. They teem forth, running pell-mell over and around her, to escape to the boats they have stashed on the riverbanks–which I thought was a nice touch. ;).

Anyway, now that we have the backstory, that’s how I’m feeling right now–like the elderly French woman, not the rats. And thank goodness, we’re not dealing with rats, because while I am not a particularly squeamish woman, one glimpse of a rat and I would be out. of. here.

But we have a mouse. One cute, fat mouse that has been having its way in this house for WEEKS. Seriously. Weeks. This mouse must have escaped from some sort of genetic test lab, because it has to be the smartest goddamn mouse on the face of the earth. It has eluded all FOUR traps I’ve set for it and has left behind multiple icky reminders of its presence.

I have had to empty my silverware drawer (eww) and two cabinets and clean them and wash every single fork, knife, casserole and baking dish I own. I have a big freestanding cabinet in my kitchen that I use as a pantry. Yesterday, I heard a noise in the lower half, where I keep flour and other things in canisters. I opened the door, and there it was, right beside the sugar, twitching its little nose at me. I, of course, slammed the door and felt slightly skeeved. The five-year-old wanted to pursue it with a hammer (LOL), but we talked him out of it. I emptied and cleaned that cabinet today, figured out where it was getting in, and fixed it. Every store I have checked is out of mouse poison, which works but is always my last resort.

And now, as I sit here and work tonight, it has run in and out of this room no fewer than five times. It’s adorable, but…ick. It needs to go before it sets up camp in the attic and I have my own Ratatouille moment. Hera, give me strength….. 😉

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