Well, now that that little bit of melodrama is out of the way, please allow me to paint a little picture for you.

I live in a neighborhood outside a beautiful and wonderful small town. There are lots of nice people here…I think. We live in a nice little yellow house that needs a bit of work but isn’t at all bad for a first house. Our lot is nearly half an acre. If you look out the back door, through the screened porch, you see at the left-hand corner of the yard a little yellow shed. Working up, there is a line of evergreens we had planted to serve as a living fence. And directly across from the bottom of my driveway is…

A dead deer. Hanging from my neighbor’s tree by its back feet. Where it has resided since Wednesday. It is now Sunday. My eyes. My eyes. My motherfucking eyes.

Our best guess is that he’s going to feed it to his dogs. Or he’s going to feed it to every loose dog that comes around, which is what happened early in January when I was awakened by loud snarling as two dogs fought over the carcass. Yes. The carcass. And then my neighbor came to his door, in his underwear, I suppose to see what was going on, and I completely laid into him. Which he deserved. Because that’s just gross. And wrong. And it occurs to me that we were presented with this same picture LAST Christmas. Just…why? This is not a trashy neighborhood. It’s a normal little working-class area, not a nasty place.

I need to stop thinking about it. Come on, stimulus package. Jodie needs a fence.