It’s technically Christmas Eve. Why are The Real Housewives of Orange County, on Bravo, and ducks having sex over and over and over again (on Animal Planet) the only things even remotely interesting on TV? I can’t stop watching the Housewives. It’s like a sickness. I can pass on the ducks, but their sheer tenacity is kind of amazing.

Also, it’s 1 a.m. I really want to be up by 7. So a better question would be why I’m not in bed. Duh.