I’ve been remiss

So very, very remiss! What happened to daily or nearly daily blogging? It has fallen by the wayside because of a wicked addiction to Facebook, which I think is replacing my wicked addiction to Diet Coke. It, too, will pass like a kidney stone. So here are two random thoughts.

The media made a huge deal about Dick Cheney attending the inauguration in a wheelchair. Apparently he hurt his back. A friend of mine countered that something else was surely afoot. We agreed it must be something far more sinister. So I decided: He had his devil tail surgically removed in preparation for his reentry into society. Yes. Yes. Dick Cheney owns a resplendent vacation home not an hour away from here. I really don’t want to see him in the quaint little tourist town. Ew.

And second: I was challenged to list 25 completely random facts about myself. So here they are, because I know you’re just that curious.

1. A recipe I read calls for two pounds of cod loins. For some juvenile reason, this cracks me up.

2. Bad spelling drives me up the wall.

3. Bad punctuation makes me want to commit myself. The worst offender is millions of exclamation points. OMG!!!!!!! I’m SOOOOOOOOO happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gahhhhhhhhhhh.

4. I like my little house but wouldn’t mind if my next-door and backyard neighbors were struck by lightning.

5. I don’t leave the house without makeup. It just makes me feel better. Also I have chicken lips that need lipstick merely to exist.

6. I have really big feet.

7. I love being musical, but I don’t devote nearly enough time to it. I’m the only one who shows up at band practice without having practiced before I got there.

8. I make the most rockin’ chicken wings you will ever taste.

9. I wish I were better able to self-motivate. I am OCD about a clean kitchen, but not so much about organization.

10. My kid watches too much TV and plays too much Wii.

11. I can’t stand new country, hair metal, rap, or power ballads, but these are usually the kinds of songs that get stuck in my head for days on end.

12. By and large, I don’t like chick flicks.

13. I am trying to overcome a vicious Diet Coke addiction. Thus far, the Diet Coke is losing.

14. I think the Wii Fit might just be my last hope for getting active. Note to self: Buy Wii Fit.

15. I’m snarky, but I’m really not that judgmental.

16. I love hearing my boy pronounce George Washington, sausage, and Squidward. And catooskit (acoustic).

17. Two-drink Jodie is a riot. Four-drink Jodie is slightly pathetic.

18. I often wonder what runs through a person’s mind when he decides that truck balls are appealing. Perhaps only my fellow Eastern Shore folk will know what this means.

19. I’m having a slight issue with turning 35 in March.

20. I need to entertain more often.

21. I overthink things to death. I guess it beats acting completely on impulse, but it can be a bit of a bummer.

22. I’m the only person I know who writes for a living but doesn’t write for pleasure.

23. Also, I’m the only person who writes for a living but never, ever has a pen in her purse.

24. I really want to buy an insanely expensive handbag (well, insanely expensive for me), but I keep it off my radar screen because I know I will drop it in something icky or a pen will explode or I will somehow destroy it and then be pissed at myself.

25. Believe it or not, I’m generally hilarious.